My horoscope this week reads, “It’s time to collaborate with other brilliant minds. You may write, blog or teach about a subject you’ve gained expertise in. You could make a name for yourself in 2009.” So let me take a moment to write about a subject I’ve gained expertise in. Being fat.

I’m fat. Not chubby, not chunky, but fat. Somehow over the last year, I’ve managed to gain 60 pounds. Yep, you read that correctly, 60 POUNDS. I’m 35 years old, 5’7 and I now tip the scales at 220 pounds. For the longest time, I kept telling myself that I was happy with who I am and I didn’t care about my weight. “At least I can still fit in regular sized clothing.” Well you know what? I can’t anymore. I can’t just walk into a store and buy standard sizing. I’ve been relegated to plus sizes or the larger sizes available at Old Navy. I find myself not wanting to look in a mirror or catch my reflection, because I’m so ashamed of what I’ve become.

What am I going to do about it? Honestly, I don’t know yet. I’m trying to come up with a plan, and I”ll document it here when I can get my shit figured out. Step one has been trying to be conscious of what I’m eating. Eating smaller portions, stopping when I’m full, etc. etc. It’s hard though. And I don’t want to try an “all or nothing” approach because I’ll surely fail.

Happy New Year! And welcome to Big Boned Blondes. We’re big! We’re blonde! We’ve got bones! But you can’t see them because we’re too fucking fat! Like scores of other Americans, Susan and I are starting 2009 with a resolution: To lose weight. Very original, I know.

But this isn’t a matter of a couple narcissistic broads resolving to lose the same 10 pounds they’ve been trying to lose since high school for the sake of their egos. It’s two legitimately overweight women on the wrong side of 29 trying to lose a significant amount of weight for the sake of our health and quality of life.

It’s time to get real: While I’ve always been a chubster, it never seemed to affect my life or health in a major way. My cholesterol and blood-pressure were always textbook perfect, and I could generally keep up with my fit friends. In short, I didn’t feel fat (most of the time). But that’s changed. I am fatter than I’ve ever been, and it is affecting my life in more ways than one. My feet hurt. My right knee has been killing me for the past several weeks, and I get winded walking up a single flight of stairs. Sure, I live in Colorado, but I promise you: It’s not the altitude. IT’S MY ASS!

So this is it. The beginning of my journey toward achieving a healthy weight. Which, incidentally is not the weight the medical community deems healthy for me (an unrealisitic number, in my opinion). Instead, it is a weight at which I have previously felt the healthiest, strongest, and most comfortable.

It’s a long way off, and I have no doubt that getting there is going to be a lengthy process – a journey if you will. And I will document it here.

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